Helane, my beautiful cousin and Spirit Mother, is a powerful woman. She owns Sacral Sounds in L.A. and offers healing work through sound baths with crystal Tibetan singing bowls and her voice. She is about to launch her new book this summer: You Are Meant to Sing: 6 Ways to Unlock Your Inner Voice which can also be taken as a 6wk workshop. I have thoroughly loved collaborating with her on various photo projects involving her and Mother Nature. This most recent one, however, is incredibly special as she has broken through some personal limitations and feels deeply connected to her Truth and her power more than she has ever before.
Rather than share her story through my classic journalistic style of writing, I have chosen to share her transformative dream that she wrote about herself just four weeks before her mother passed. I felt it perfectly represented these series of portraits we captured of her in Malibu, CA at the deliciously artistic and peaceful Olandar Foundation for Emerging Renaissance. Without further ado. Immerse yourself.
In that moment, I became the wolf and it became me. Eons of ancestral human pain coursing through the howls that overtook my being. I don't remember how long the sounds lasted, as in that space, I lost myself. Connected to the suffering of humanity that coursed through my voice.
When I regained consciousness, I was a puddle on the floor, unable to move.
Carried to my resting spot, the crying continued throughout the night. Each sob a release of another soul connection to my own. Seeing the pain I caused others inadvertently and where to make amends. The pain thrust upon me before I had tools to understand. Lifetimes of supporting and trying to fix others.
An ultimate surrender of the human experience and transformation.
I saw my mother's reflection in the mirror, echoing a deep sorrow of the suppression of women, of feeling like she didn't have a choice and neither did I.
The harder I tried to be different, the more I was alike. The fear of causing another human being to suffer due to my actions was unbearable. Another human would not have to suffer the way I did.
And subconsciously the barren path defined my fate.
The lineage stopped. No more suffering of painful transference from mother to child. Those thoughts, words, and actions stemmed in the shadow-self feelings of guilt, jealously, rage and hatred.
No element of receiving.
I am her and she is me.
We are each other.
We read left to right; spirit reads right to left, the reflection in the mirror our ultimate healing force stopping the cycle of our spiraling thoughts.
Layers of the onion peeled back revealing the love hidden far underneath.
Gratitude for the lessons, for the gifts. For the knowledge that each rough stone gains its polish from the teachings of our biggest adversaries.
Relaxing into the safety of family, chosen family, those ready to give, receive, and see fully into the deepest parts of your soul.
See your clarity through the work. Honor your inner being-ness with the tenderness of a new mothers touch, that coming from the earth, the divine.
The purest form of love.
The transformation of the pain to pleasure.
Where giving and receiving intertwine and become one.