Deconstruct to Rebuild
The last five years have felt like a deconstruction of the puzzle of my life: relationships, identity, values, walls around my heart. I thought it was all so perfectly placed and complete. But that’s not the truth of life. There is no perfect. There is no complete. There are beginnings & endings of phases of life and a whole lot of figuring it all out along the way. I have grown to realize there's release (and eventual relief!) in the deconstruction, because there's way more beyond a completed puzzle...there's a thousand more puzzles!
I used to resist this, hard, with heels dug deep down into the ground, but life had its way of ripping me outta there, pointing me towards what I didn't want to face, and made me face it. Goodness that's fucking rough, and not gracious. Some stuff is small & subtle, and other stuff, too big to imagine. Can you relate? Are you in this process right now?
What helped support me:
Movement
Take a walk. Dance. Try a somatic movement class with me! Strength train with pilates or yoga. Or practice deep breathing for subtle movement in the body. All are beautiful and necessary.Reflective Journaling (alone & with the company of others)
Start with jotting down what you noticed throughout your day. Ask yourself questions like, “What lit me up?” “What irritated me?” “How could I have handled X better?” “What did I really want to do today, and did I let myself do that? Even if briefly?” All of these point you back to yourself and your own power.Astrology Updates
Something about knowing what the galaxy is doing is humbling & makes the chaos feel a little less chaotic. Not into astrology but curious? Try chani.com , cafeastrology.com , or reach out for a birthchart reading!Community
Don’t underestimate the power of friends, family, & even strangers going through similar things! Join classes at the Whitewater Public Library or my Virtual Guided Journaling offerings. Gather with friends around a fire. Have a once/wk or once/mo dinner with your favorite people. The list is endless! Schedule it like it’s as important as all the other to-dos. Only difference, the community is magic.Honesty
There’s immense power & freedom in sharing one's truth. You know when you’re talking with someone and your body provides a strong sensation of some kind? That’s truth looking to come out. Practice discernment, though! Is this something I need to say to this person? Is this something I need to sit with in my journal? Let it out. It wants acknowledgement. And every time you honor your truth, you align all the pieces of yourself a little more.Practicing Presence
Bask in the fullness of yourself without distraction or agenda. This looks like nothingness, and sometimes feels scary, but it’s profound and life changing. Try 5-10min a day of all encompassing noticing — the environment you’re in, the way your body feels, the warmth of the sun on your face, the taste & texture of the food you’re enjoying — without thought or judgement (though if those arise, let them and don’t get attached).Laughter
Watch comedic movies or shows, laugh with friends over a silly board game, take oneself a little less seriously one day and see what your giggles do.Time
Sometimes, space is needed to process & integrate what life’s throwin’ at you. Gift yourself time. Whether one hour/day, one whole day/wk, or an entire year (if life’s thrown a lot of shit at you!) trust that the spaciousness will provide.
There are probably SO MANY MORE, and even through all the supportive things, it's still so easy to cling tightly, try to catch all the pieces of yourself as they fall away. At some point, though, you notice they aren't going anywhere. They stay with you, deconstructed & resting now, as old you & new you decide who gets to begin the next chapter (or puzzle if you want to keep going with that analogy). 😉 There’s freedom in the new. Is it utterly scary sometimes? Yep. But the freedom is way more worth it.
What one small step can you attempt today to lead you a little closer to freedom?