As you move into the holiday season and spend more time with friends and family, remember that the reality we see in a situation or person is often based on all we’ve ever known and/or all we fear in the unknown future.

Being in conscious relationship with what or who is before us relies on a mindfulness that asks oneself: Am I putting my unhealed wounds or patterns from the past on this situation or person?

Remember to lead with love, no matter how challenging that can be sometimes, and to meet situations/people where they are, not where you wish them to be. So many of us need that grace and peace in this chaotic time of year.

Leading with love can look like:

Remembering that, many times, someone’s sarcastic/rude remark isn’t about you, it’s about them, and maybe don’t respond with the same energy they’re giving.
Setting boundaries like, “I’m only staying a few hours” or “I’d like to not talk about my relationship stuff today.”
Acknowledging where you may have crossed a line with someone, apologize, and don’t expect the same in return, otherwise, your apology is transactional, and not from a genuine place in your heart.

And guess what? If you don’t have the capacity to do the above…your NO is enough, because you’re allowed to not be capable in this moment. It’s better to accept that than to pretend or project. Stay home if you need to. Take gentle care.

Let’s love a little bigger as our gift this season, not only others, but ourselves, too.

Lead with love.