During this time of not having sessions in person for an indefinite amount of time, I’m connecting with clients to find out how they’re navigating this #SaferAtHome order during the COVID-19 pandemic. Ivan will be turning 1 any day now, and we’ve had to cancel his portrait session documenting that wonderful milestone. So, without further ado, meet The DeBucks, and learn how they’re handling this new life.

**Ivan and momma, Joleen, during Ivan’s 6mos portrait session, November 2019: Whitewater, WI**

Katy: How are you handling the #Saferathome order?
Joleen: Our household is taking the #Saferathome more seriously than some. My husband and I are both considered “essential workers”, which is honestly both a blessing and a curse. A blessing that we both still have our incomes. I work in healthcare. I have made a career out of helping others. I have been trained to help heal others on their worst day. And yet, I can’t help but feel unsettled. This is nothing our generation has ever seen. I am scared to bring it home to my family. I have two small children at home. And while it doesn’t *seem* to be affecting children, it’s still anxiety-provoking. I would also hate to pass it to my parents, them being in the age groups that are most at risk of negative outcomes. I am thankful I have a job and an income, but I can’t say I don’t breathe a little easier on the days that I am sent home early, or told not to come in due to low census. At this point I know I have had exposure to positive patients. If I can limit that exposure, even just a little, and avoid one more positive patient contact, it is a relief. For me this isn't a huge change from normal. I work two days a week and stay home with our kids the other days. While my husband still goes to work, he has to stay home with the kids the two days I go in, as our childcare provider is currently closed.

Katy: If you have kids, how are they doing?
Joleen: We have two children: a three-year-old, and a one-year-old at the end of this month! I think our three-year-old has a hard time understanding what exactly is going on. I’ve tried explaining it to her the best that I can. I’ve found two books geared for young children to help as well. She keeps insisting that she is healthy, but then remembers that I have to take care of sick people, so we have to stay home. She really wants to go back to preschool/daycare and see her friends and teachers. Her teachers sent a little care package with projects for her to do. We’ve also been sending some of the pictures she’s been drawing in the mail to family. We have had a few visits with grandparents through the window. She has a hard time remembering that they can’t come into our house. Swimming lessons were cancelled, and so was story time at the library. I think she is disappointed about those things. The children’s librarian has been doing story time on facebook live for the kids which is awesome! She looks forward to the bedtime stories since the library is closed. Another thing we’ve done is video call family to stay in touch with the kids. I feel like the three-year-old is going a little stir crazy. My husband and I still get to leave the house to go to work, but the kids never leave. We’ve gone for a couple short car rides, and try to get them outside as much as possible to play.

Katy: What have you found yourself doing the most? the least?
Joleen: I’ve been trying to do something educational with our three-year-old every day during the week since she’s not going to preschool right now. We have also been working on getting the garden ready to go for the season. The garden suffered big-time last year with having a newborn. I feel like we’re ahead of the game so far this year.

Katy: What have you found yourself thinking the most?
Joleen: Honestly being in healthcare, my social media is almost entirely COVID-19 related, so I feel like that is always on my mind. I am trying to stay off facebook and trying instead to focus on family - something that I always try to be better at anyway. Beyond that, I think the most about how this is affecting our three-year-old, in ways she can’t even communicate.

Katy: Have you tried/done anything you always wanted to do but never had time for before all this?
Joleen: I have two kids 3 and under… Now is not the time in my life for new hobbies! I am just trying to spend as much time being truly present with the kids, and giving them 1:1 time when the other happens to be napping.

Katy: In moments of overwhelm, what brings you back to yourself, to the present? (Share any resources--books, music, food, etc. that may help others if you so desire).
Joleen: Cliche as it may sound, I come back to the present by trying to BE in the present. When I have found myself being overwhelmed, it’s usually because of an article I am reading or due to social media. I put down the article and focus on my family.

Music has always been a calming factor for me as well. Growing up I’d play my piano when I was overwhelmed. It occupied my hands and brain, making it hard to think about other things. Our house is currently too small for my piano which I miss dearly. Since I can’t play piano right now, I often find myself listening to a staple of my childhood - Harry Chapin. Harry was often playing in our home growing up and I fell asleep to his album “The Gold Metal Collection” Disk 1 many, many nights. Harry is always good for the soul.

Katy: What’s one positive thing you keep saying to yourself throughout this?
Joleen: I’m not the most positive person. And I have always had a lot of anxiety about a lot of things. My motto was always, “if you always expect the worst, you’ll never be disappointed”. Lovely, I know! My husband, on the other-hand, is a generally positive person. He keeps me grounded. He keeps telling me, “this will pass”.

**The DeBuck family during Ivan’s newborn portrait session, May 2019: Delavan, WI.**

Life During Pandemic: The DeBucks