You Are Human
Yesterday turned out to be quite a productive day. At 4p, I actually sat at my desk wondering what the hell to do with myself! I was thinking, Well, this can't be true! But it was. I felt full of to-dos last week and weekend, and somehow, beginning Monday, I started with task #1 and kept flowing. How? you might ask. I don't freakin' know. It was magic. I wish I had a strategy. Perhaps my strategy was the common advice, "Take one day at a time" or it could've also been the fact that I word-vomited some anxieties, hangups, fears, etc. onto any willing ear. This is important, people! Get. That. Shit. Out.
I'm caught up, not feeling particularly stressed in any way, and am happy with the progress I'm making. Alas, there's always those few things that linger in the back of your mind. Here's my lovely list:
- Where does The Body Project go after its completion?
- Should I move TBP blog onto my business website?
- Should I reassess the way I run my business?
- How will I handle so much solitude on my solo trip to NC (for a family wedding at the end of the month)?
These are fun things, though! I like that this is where my brain is: progress, challenges, and passions. Pretty awesome.
I know one of my stresses has been acclimating to a new roommate, whose husband passed away three or so years ago. I have a tendency to over help, analyze, and offer as much advice as I can to those who are struggling with anything, but sometimes, those people simply need room to feel out their progress on their own. So, I have taken a step back from my usual pushing and shoving. I am here solely as a strength and guiding light. I will be nothing more. She knows life is waiting for her when she's ready.
I have recently let go of the idea that friendships are floundering when it's hard to keep in touch; I tend to take things like this personally. There's no need to be concerned about my place in other peoples' lives. I'm here, when they're ready. And I know that when I need a friend, it's important to find the one ready for me. Live and let live.
I miss my husband, but knew that all of our busyness this time of year was coming, so that transition has been a little easier to adjust to than other changes.
Yoga is detoxing me each week. I am learning how my lifestyle choices affect my workout and forgive myself on the days I just can't quite move or bend as fluidly. I find great strength in this forgiveness--understanding I am human and won't always be 100%.
This gloomy Wisconsin weather has suffocated me this past week, but I have used it for self-reflection, and it means I will only embrace, even more so, the sunny days ahead, as cliche as that sounds. I still do crave my feet in the soil, my body to the earth, and my face to the treetops and sky. I will honor Mother Nature and my connection to her energy the next warm, sunny day. For now, I feel the wind deep within, allow the bird chirps to flood my thoughts, and the scent of damp soil to saturate my lungs.
To those feeling stuck:
to wild children.
Their feet need soil,
their hearts, the roots
beneath the earth.
and doors thunder
They press foreheads
against windows reflecting
but their minds dance
on tree limbs reaching
of a time they will stand
on top of the world
and breathe it all out for good.
The tug and pull is beautiful, and I am learning to find the resting place in between--that place of peace--where everything is and nothing isn't. Allow yourself to go there, if only for a moment.
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